Are You Making Them Rely On You Too Much?

Is your hurry creating an issue down the line?

We miss opportunities to grow strength in ourselves and/or others all the time. 

The other day, I saw a mum walking with her two kids, likely no more than 6 and 8. They were walking a leisurely pace. She hopped them up on a wall about a foot up from the ground. They walked about 4 steps, until the first one hesitated. A small hedge branch was sticking out over the wall. You could see the wall just below and beyond the branch. Yes, it would have been a little tricky to navigate, but with a bit of courage and possibly a holding hand, it was perfectly doable. 

What I saw instead was this; the child looked at the mum, looked at the gap, looked at the mum. Without a MOMENT of hesitation, the mum reached out and lifted them over the branch, onto ‘safety’. Left to their own devices, even for thirty seconds or NOT being offered immediate help, what might they have done? Thought it through? ASKED for help, not just received it? Got encouragement to even have a go?  
 
I get that it’s a snapshot in time, and I could have seen it all wrong to what was really happening.  
 
But it made me think. In being helpful, are we creating helplessness? Are we depriving people – whether our friends, family or clients – of the chance to do things at THEIR pace, and of the opportunity to choose for themselves. I know I’m guilty of this. Of jumping in too quickly at times, because I know the answer, or because I can’t stand to see people in pain. But what am I creating down the line?  
 
So today, and this week, I invite you to be on the look out for where you (tend to) jump in, and just hold back for 30 seconds or so. See what happens. Don’t say anything, don’t offer, and do observe how hard that is for you, but also observe what it creates in you and in them. I’ve been playing with this. It’s becoming my new way to build resourcefulness and resilience in people I’m in contact with. 

I’ll not lie – it’s a stretch for me, as much as one for those that have been on the receiving end of it, but it’s proving to be a great thing to do.