I’m addicted to YES!

Don't say yes to everything

I am someone that says yes to so much. I love the experience and the connection and the thrill of the new. I say yes, to almost everything that comes my way. Especially if it means that I end up helping someone out. I say yes, often without thinking. I say yes if it gives me a chance to be of service. I say yes if it sounds exciting. I say yes if it makes me smile.

I say yes too much.

I’m highly talented and enthusiastic individual. I’m a “keeper”. I’m someone you want to have around – whether it’s in a crisis or on a fun day out. I know this because I get a LOT of invitations. And I mostly say YES!

YES is a Promise. (And promises require of us)

The thing about saying “Yes!” is that we commit. We promise to allocate a certain amount of personal resources:

  • Time
  • Energy
  • Passion
  • Thinking space
  • Attention
  • Money
  • Skills

All of this means that EACH project, idea, appointment and connection we say Yes! to, takes up residence IN us.  And the thing is, YOU are in charge of these resources above. And YOU get to choose to safeguard your energy. With a YES! or a NO!

The consequence of YES!

I’m someone that used to not stop to ‘think through’ saying yes. I would blindly say yes, and figure out how to do it, fit it in. But it takes from me. It has a cost. I’m sure you’ve done the same. We want to be helpful, indispensable, wanted, needed. So we say Yes!, without thinking through.

We need to (learn to) be responsible with our Yes.

I am learning. I am slowing clawing back my attention and my Yes!.  I’m learning to stop to ask myself if this commitment I’m about to make is a win-win-win. Will each of us benefit from my use of the time, energy, passion, thinking space, and attention that I will give? And will the wider world? And do I HAVE these to give at this moment. Because if I don’t it may not be a win for the person asking, even if it’s a win for me.

Help to think about saying NO before you say YES!

Think about what you currently are committed to. What have you promised. How much time, energy, passion, thinking space and attention have you got left in your tank to give. What is it that you think you’ll get from saying Yes!? Will saying Yes! complete you or will it deplete you? You know the answer. It may feel hard to say NO, but usually those of use that want to be helpful need to remember that a NO may free up a better solution. We may NOT be the perfect solution for what is wanted.

Thinking it through can give you peace.

When I recently said NO, not Yes! to one of the juiciest opportunities I’ve been offered in a while, I felt at peace. And I am still at peace. Because that project is no longer demanding anything of me. I released it with a No and got back to what I was doing before, with more energy, passion, space and time than I had before I was asked.

I wish you the same. Consider saying No.